Lovely, and I love the expressions of maternal care in it from both you and your daughter in law.
There is certainly depth there, but having said that, I would never balk at being called light hearted and whimsical. Better that than be seen as tedious heavy hearted and inaccessible.
You are right about not wanting to be seen as heavy hearted. I think there’s often a bit of humour in my writing but his comment stung me (it wasn’t this poem I read). Oh the giggling from the two boys (big and little) as they ran down!
Beth, I find this discussion so interesting. I think readers see what they want to in poems, though in this case, it sounds like the poem you mentioned sharing recently wasn't meant to be whimsical at all.
I think I want to have a small thread of whimsy running through my chapbook, under the logic that there is reality, and then there is imagined reality... and both can & do co-exist. Your poem about red riding hood's cloak in the forest also comes to mind.
I think what I prefer to think about some of my (and others) poetry is that I do that ‘look at it slant thing’. I think that might mean that the underlying theme might be missed by some people because you take an oblique look at something rather than head on.
I can't do rhymes Beth, so good for you in bending your brain. Some poets rhyme naturally, as if the the rhyming words come together subconsciously as a pair while they are writing.
Whimsical, no, especially when it comes to charting a low mood or depression. Whimsical is junior school writing to me: I wandered lonely as a cloud, it lifted me up so high and proud...
But your poetry is autobiographical or familybiographical. We write what we know, and more to the point, what we feel, what brings out the heightened emotions in us that hand to us what we need to say in that moment.
As for that guy at the open mic; he reminds of the kind of response that comes from a covert bully.
The rhymes are understated and unforced and they add impetus and rhythm, I love the range of time in this, too, from the immediate past to a memory it evokes of a lost time. And the immersion in the imagination of the child and his father and their experience of the seascape:
This is so vivid, Beth! Beautiful rhyme and flow to this. I understand about the comments. I often feel like I'm not part of the club. Then again, I agree with Mike. 😊
Lovely, and I love the expressions of maternal care in it from both you and your daughter in law.
There is certainly depth there, but having said that, I would never balk at being called light hearted and whimsical. Better that than be seen as tedious heavy hearted and inaccessible.
You are right about not wanting to be seen as heavy hearted. I think there’s often a bit of humour in my writing but his comment stung me (it wasn’t this poem I read). Oh the giggling from the two boys (big and little) as they ran down!
Beth, I find this discussion so interesting. I think readers see what they want to in poems, though in this case, it sounds like the poem you mentioned sharing recently wasn't meant to be whimsical at all.
I think I want to have a small thread of whimsy running through my chapbook, under the logic that there is reality, and then there is imagined reality... and both can & do co-exist. Your poem about red riding hood's cloak in the forest also comes to mind.
I think what I prefer to think about some of my (and others) poetry is that I do that ‘look at it slant thing’. I think that might mean that the underlying theme might be missed by some people because you take an oblique look at something rather than head on.
It's that mythological trickster energy, maybe.
That’s a good way of describing it
Absolutely.
I know the feeling. You crack one gag - and all of a sudden you are a comedy poet and never to be taken seriously. It's their loss.
I can't do rhymes Beth, so good for you in bending your brain. Some poets rhyme naturally, as if the the rhyming words come together subconsciously as a pair while they are writing.
Whimsical, no, especially when it comes to charting a low mood or depression. Whimsical is junior school writing to me: I wandered lonely as a cloud, it lifted me up so high and proud...
But your poetry is autobiographical or familybiographical. We write what we know, and more to the point, what we feel, what brings out the heightened emotions in us that hand to us what we need to say in that moment.
As for that guy at the open mic; he reminds of the kind of response that comes from a covert bully.
Thanks so much Glenn
The rhymes are understated and unforced and they add impetus and rhythm, I love the range of time in this, too, from the immediate past to a memory it evokes of a lost time. And the immersion in the imagination of the child and his father and their experience of the seascape:
the rider, his horse;
they gallop, neighing and snorting their fierce
joy in the wheeling of gulls and the wild force
of waves breaking white along the shoreline,
the scudding clouds, moments of sunshine
the pinch of the ordinary left behind.
Thank you Janice. I wish you were still publishing books!
This is so vivid, Beth! Beautiful rhyme and flow to this. I understand about the comments. I often feel like I'm not part of the club. Then again, I agree with Mike. 😊
I love your poem, especially the beginning, which encapsulates the rhythms of the actions themselves. Excellent use of rhyme too.
Thank you Juliet!